Actions have to be justified, whether by motive, inference or end result, or so i’d like to believe. But the Lord showed me otherwise, and I’ll share this with everyone (so you don’t have to be in a similar situation)
I noticed a few months ago in my office building car park some old office furniture that was just left aside there. It has been there for months now, and i noticed a table that looked like it was in decent condition. I (conveniently) concluded that since the table has been lying there for months, no one wanted it and I could take it for myself.
I knew I had to ask the Lord first (He IS my Lord, right), but I somehow delayed it and always avoided the subject when talking to Him.
So the day came I mustered up the courage to load the table into my car – it wasn’t a big table at all.
The awful feeling came immediately afterwards. Part guilt, but mostly a feeling of distance from God. I kind of managed the guilty feeling using reasoning – the tables been there for months, no one has bothered with it, it’s probably going to get thrown away anyway…
But I could not get over the distance I felt from God. When i talk to Him, the table kept coming up in my mind, and my heart felt heavy. I was convinced that i had grieved he Holy Spirit . Unable to bear it, I came clean with God, I told the Lord I wanted the table, and that in my reasoning, there’s nothing wrong with it. I also acknowledged that God knows more that I, and maybe there are some plans for the table which i don’t know about. The problem was, I felt that i had to have a reason why I shouldn’t take the table.
In the end, I brought the two choices before Him: keep the table, or put it back. When I considered putting the table back, I felt a peace and happiness within me. It had to be the right thing to do, even though i didn’t have any reasons why it was the right thing to.
And that’s what I did, and oh the joy and peace afterwards.
Sometimes, we don’t need to know why, just be obedient.
Obadiah 1:3 “Your presumptuous heart has deceived you…”
Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
1 Timothy 1:5 “Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned”
Hebrews 13:18 “Pray for us: for we trust we have a good conscience, in all things willing to live honestly.”