Found this letter here
Girls, could we talk to you right out of our hearts for a few minutes?
It is awkward for us to talk about something of this nature, in person,
so we thought we would write our feelings.
We are young men who have been saved and baptized in the Holy Spirit.
We desperately want to live for Christ and not follow the ways of the
world. Since we have been baptized (immersed) in a “Holy” Spirit, we
feel in our hearts that we should live “holy” lives. After all, our
bodies are the temple, the sanctuary, the place where the “Holy” Spirit
lives and makes His home.
We know that guys and girls are affected differently, so since we
desperately want to follow hard after God, could we kindly and
respectfully ask you to help us with a few things?
We realize that girls are primarily stimulated or turned on by “touch.”
Did you know that guys are turned on by “sight?” So when you are
“aroused” (sexually awakened) by a guy’s “touch,” we are in the same
way aroused by mere “sight.” Let us explain. When we see girls who are
dressed in a suggestive, revealing, provocative, teasing, tantalizing
manner, our sexual desires are aroused. Our bodies are then affected.
To be absolutely candid, let us give you some examples of what we are
referring to. If you are wearing a blouse that barely meets the waist
of your slacks and some of your skin showswhile you are moving around,
or simply while you are walking, sitting, or kneeling, our minds are
geared to wonder what more of your body would look like further
up….This causes our bodies to respond biologically, and suddenl we
are fighting a war in our minds and bodies. And that war of lust is
continuing often long, even hours, after you are gone. We hate this,
because our “righteous man” wants to think pure thoughts….
When you wear low-cut tops which are in any degree revealing, or when
you bend over, and they are revealing, this again causes us big
problems in the flesh. Or if the back is out of your top, we
automatically think that you do not have the undergarment on, and the
Spirit and the flesh begin to fight again. Or when we see any glimpse
of your undergarments, such as straps and the like, we have trouble.
What we are trying to say is this: If it is not for sale, don’t
advertise it. We really feel that the still small voice of the Holy
Spirit speaks to you and nudges you when it is too tight, too short,
too low, or too revealing. Will you listen to that voice? For the
Scripture says, “Quench not the Spirit.” (1 Thess. 5:19)
Girls, do you know what we would really like? We would like to come
among our Christian sisters and not have to fight and struggle in the
flesh. We do not need to have to wrestle in the flesh at church or at
church activities. We men, whether young, old, single or married, are
faced with this every day among girls of the “world.” But we would like
to have rest in our Spirit man when we come among Christian girls.
After all, doesn’t the Scripture tell us to “come out from among the
world and be you separate, saith the Lord.” (2 Cor. 6:17) It also tells
us that “all that is in the world, the lust of the eye, and the lust of
the flesh, is not of the Father, but is of the world.” (1 John 2:15) We
are the church, not the world.
We know that people often use the verse, “Man looketh on the outward
appearance, but God looketh on the heart,” (1 Sam. 16:7) to condone
anything they wish to wear. This is one of the most misused/used
out-of-context verses in the Bible. Conversely, the fact is, if your
heart is pure, your outward appearance will be modest….
Girls can be fashionable and modest at the same time. To be honest, we
respect you more when your appearance is modest, as the Scripture
commands in 1 Timothy 2:9. We really do not want the kind of girl who
dresses provocatively, for we know that if we marry her, she will still
be that way in the presence of other men once we are married.
We know that we have Christian responsibilites toward girls, too. We
must be careful to portray ourselves properly. We must treat you like
ladies. If we are really committed Christian guys, we will strive to
treat you like Jesus would. After all, you are daughters of God.
Thank you, dear Christian sisters, for hearing our hearts on this
subject. Once we have conveyed the truth of the matter to you, you
become responsible before God for what you do with the truth. We really
are “our brother’s keeper.” (Genesis 4:9.) We know that there is a
“cult of conformity” in our generation, but we as Christians “march to
the beat of a different drummer.” Please, girls, do not say, “I don’t
care,” but help us in these last days to live as close to Jesus as we
can. Thank you so much.
Committed Christian Guys”
I may not agree with all that the penman of the letter writes, but I sure can relate to his struggle. I have seen sisters in my own assembly dress less than appropriately at meetings, and its a real battle to “never look twice”. In all honesty, sisters dressing modestly does help avoid the stray look, and the stray thought, which could be germinate the seed of sin.
However, I do not think point of God’s admonition for women to dress modestly, is to keep brothers from sinning. Rather, it was in order that the “hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which in the sight of God is of great price” (1 Peter 3:4) may be displayed.
My point is: girls and women ought to dress modestly, not for the brother’s sake (helpful as that may be), but for the sake of pleasing God.
Which brings me to another observation. I have met more than a few sisters who would care about how they dress to church, but are less modest when dressing outside of church. In church, I’d see them in long skirts, but on the street, in the mall or at the gym, much flesh is on show. Why? The impression I get (and I’d love to be wrong on this), is that the modesty they show in church is just to please the ‘church-people’, and not motivated by a desire to please God. This screams ‘hypocrisy’ at best. If modesty pleases God, and girls and women want to please God, they would be modest wherever they go.
As for men, the bible teaches a number of things: “be sober-minded” (Titus 2:6). Husbands are taught to treat their wives “with honour, as fellow-heirs as the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7). While instructed to husbands, there is no scriptural reason why unmarried boys and men cannot be taught to treat sisters the same way. While its difficult to keep the eye from roving, and the flesh from desiring, the bible says we are to “Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth, fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry” (Col 3:5).
1. Sisters, dress modestly. It pleases God, and we brothers would appreciate it.
2. Brothers, bring “into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor 10:5), and if you fail, and commit adultery in your heart, don’t blame the sisters.
What do you think?