Can sisters help keep brothers from sinning?


Found this letter here

Girls, could we talk to you right out of our hearts for a few minutes? 
It is awkward for us to talk about something of this nature, in person, 
so we thought we would write our feelings.
We are young men who have been saved and baptized in the Holy Spirit. 
We desperately want to live for Christ and not follow the ways of the 
world. Since we have been baptized (immersed) in a “Holy” Spirit, we 
feel in our hearts that we should live “holy” lives. After all, our 
bodies are the temple, the sanctuary, the place where the “Holy” Spirit 
lives and makes His home.
We know that guys and girls are affected differently, so since we 
desperately want to follow hard after God, could we kindly and 
respectfully ask you to help us with a few things?
We realize that girls are primarily stimulated or turned on by “touch.” 
Did you know that guys are turned on by “sight?” So when you are 
“aroused” (sexually awakened) by a guy’s “touch,” we are in the same 
way aroused by mere “sight.” Let us explain. When we see girls who are 
dressed in a suggestive, revealing, provocative, teasing, tantalizing 
manner, our sexual desires are aroused. Our bodies are then affected. 
To be absolutely candid, let us give you some examples of what we are 
referring to. If you are wearing a blouse that barely meets the waist 
of your slacks and some of your skin showswhile you are moving around, 
or simply while you are walking, sitting, or kneeling, our minds are 
geared to wonder what more of your body would look like further 
up….This causes our bodies to respond biologically, and suddenl we 
are fighting a war in our minds and bodies. And that war of lust is 
continuing often long, even hours, after you are gone. We hate this, 
because our “righteous man” wants to think pure thoughts….
When you wear low-cut tops which are in any degree revealing, or when 
you bend over, and they are revealing, this again causes us big 
problems in the flesh. Or if the back is out of your top, we 
automatically think that you do not have the undergarment on, and the 
Spirit and the flesh begin to fight again. Or when we see any glimpse 
of your undergarments, such as straps and the like, we have trouble. 
What we are trying to say is this: If it is not for sale, don’t 
advertise it. We really feel that the still small voice of the Holy 
Spirit speaks to you and nudges you when it is too tight, too short, 
too low, or too revealing. Will you listen to that voice? For the 
Scripture says, “Quench not the Spirit.” (1 Thess. 5:19)

Girls, do you know what we would really like? We would like to come 
among our Christian sisters and not have to fight and struggle in the 
flesh. We do not need to have to wrestle in the flesh at church or at 
church activities. We men, whether young, old, single or married, are 
faced with this every day among girls of the “world.” But we would like 
to have rest in our Spirit man when we come among Christian girls. 
After all, doesn’t the Scripture tell us to “come out from among the 
world and be you separate, saith the Lord.” (2 Cor. 6:17) It also tells 
us that “all that is in the world, the lust of the eye, and the lust of 
the flesh, is not of the Father, but is of the world.” (1 John 2:15) We 
are the church, not the world.
We know that people often use the verse, “Man looketh on the outward 
appearance, but God looketh on the heart,” (1 Sam. 16:7) to condone 
anything they wish to wear. This is one of the most misused/used 
out-of-context verses in the Bible. Conversely, the fact is, if your 
heart is pure, your outward appearance will be modest….
Girls can be fashionable and modest at the same time. To be honest, we 
respect you more when your appearance is modest, as the Scripture 
commands in 1 Timothy 2:9. We really do not want the kind of girl who 
dresses provocatively, for we know that if we marry her, she will still 
be that way in the presence of other men once we are married.
We know that we have Christian responsibilites toward girls, too. We 
must be careful to portray ourselves properly. We must treat you like 
ladies. If we are really committed Christian guys, we will strive to 
treat you like Jesus would. After all, you are daughters of God.
Thank you, dear Christian sisters, for hearing our hearts on this 
subject. Once we have conveyed the truth of the matter to you, you 
become responsible before God for what you do with the truth. We really 
are “our brother’s keeper.” (Genesis 4:9.) We know that there is a 
“cult of conformity” in our generation, but we as Christians “march to 
the beat of a different drummer.” Please, girls, do not say, “I don’t 
care,” but help us in these last days to live as close to Jesus as we 
can. Thank you so much.


Committed Christian Guys”

I may not agree with all that the penman of the letter writes, but I sure can relate to his struggle. I have seen sisters in my own assembly dress less than appropriately at meetings, and its a real battle to “never look twice”. In all honesty, sisters dressing modestly does help avoid the stray look, and the stray thought, which could be germinate the seed of sin.

However, I do not think point of God’s admonition for women to dress modestly, is to keep brothers from sinning. Rather, it was in order that the “hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which in the sight of God is of great price(1 Peter 3:4) may be displayed.

My point is: girls and women ought to dress modestly, not for the brother’s sake (helpful as that may be), but for the sake of pleasing God. 

Which brings me to another observation. I have met more than a few sisters who would care about how they dress to church, but are less modest when dressing outside of church. In church, I’d see them in long skirts, but on the street, in the mall or at the gym, much flesh is on show. Why? The impression I get (and I’d love to be wrong on this), is that the modesty they show in church is just to please the ‘church-people’, and not motivated by a desire to please God. This screams ‘hypocrisy’ at best. If modesty pleases God, and girls and women want to please God, they would be modest wherever they go. 

As for men, the bible teaches a number of things: “be sober-minded” (Titus 2:6). Husbands are taught to treat their wives “with honour, as fellow-heirs as the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7). While instructed to husbands, there is no scriptural reason why unmarried boys and men cannot be taught to treat sisters the same way. While its difficult to keep the eye from roving, and the flesh from desiring, the bible says we are to “Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth,  fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry” (Col 3:5). 

1. Sisters, dress modestly. It pleases God, and we brothers would appreciate it.
2. Brothers, bring “into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor 10:5), and if you fail, and commit adultery in your heart, don’t blame the sisters. 

What do you think?


3 thoughts on “Can sisters help keep brothers from sinning?

  1. cbrunette

    You made a very good point about the Biblical admonition for modesty as not to keep brothers from sinning…but mainly for the spiritual betterment of the woman. I have found this to be the case in my own life after I started dressing modestly in all occasions. The men I know have also expressed their respect and admiration for my efforts, so it ends up being a win-win situation.


  2. antiochagent

    I liked the conclusion brother Guna.

    May I add a little more to the discussion. As believers, the manner in which one chooses to adorn one’s self in many ways does serve to reflect one’s walk with the Lord. There is also a way/manner that we ‘ought’ to carry ourselves (both brothers & sisters in the Lord).

    2 Peter 3:11 Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness

    I believe this verse gives us a simple principle on what our attitude should be on this important area of personal piety. It’s actually a question being posed to us to reconsider how we ought to live.

    We are exhorted both brothers & sisters alike, to be careful not to stumble one another. And this point has wide ranging areas of concern. Maybe we ought to give it thought and weigh decisions a little more the next time we do something that may have an effect on others. In this case ‘what’ we wear, and ‘how’ we wear clothing. Could the Lord actually be displeased with me wearing this?

    I like how one preacher put it as a warning to the young women in his church on their dressing. He told them to “Be careful, because you get what you fish for”. I think it was a dose of healthy and good fatherly advice.

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